


all the world's a stage

by Fishykarp



Category: Sleepless Domain (Webcomic)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fake Hating AU, Fluff, Humor, has anyone else noticed that Team Forte and Team Blitz both have music aesthetics?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:42:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27475966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fishykarp/pseuds/Fishykarp
Summary: The sun rises in the east, terrible monsters come out at night, and Pop Blitz and Forte Lead hate eachother. Some things are unarguable.Or, at least, that's what they want you to think.
Relationships: Steffi Frohlich | Pop Blitz/Roni | Forte Lead
Comments: 1
Kudos: 19





	all the world's a stage

As leader of the city’s premier Magical Girl musical group, you’d be hard-pressed to find anybody who disliked Forte Lead. Even if you weren’t the biggest fan of her songs, you had to admire her ability to balance a successful musical career while fighting monsters every night. 

That is, if you discount a certain Steffi Frohlich.

Magical Girl Pop Blitz was not a noteworthy girl, leader of a non-thematic team of little renown or success. The one thing anyone knew of her, if they knew of her at all, was her fervent hatred of Forte Lead. Put them in a room together and without fail, a one-sided argument would begin within minutes.

Roni, for her part, never seemed to engage with or even acknowledge her self-proclaimed arch-nemesis. Continuing on with her day even when confronted, with a dispassionate neutral expression usually reserved only for press and paparazzi. Steffi hated it, of course. One could easily come to the conclusion that Lead did it specifically for that reason. It would be a false conclusion, but a conclusion nonetheless.

In truth, it was Roni’s most desperate attempt to keep from breaking into a grin at her girlfriend’s antics. 

Roni had participated in plenty of performances in her time as Forte Lead, and Steffi was no stranger to acting more confident than she truly was, but they both considered their mutual animosity as their greatest act. 

While maybe they really _did_ hate eachother once upon a time, those days were long passed. But through Roni’s desire to keep _some_ part of her life out of the public eye, and Steffi finding the idea really funny, they decided early in their relationship that it’d be best if everyone thought they still did.

And so it was that Forte Lead and Pop Blitz became the world’s least likely couple.

</> </> </> </>

Wednesday fourth period was hotly anticipated among a select set of the student body: not because of the wonders of the outer sciences, but as the first in-class collision of Steffi and Roni since Sunday. Those not in any classes with the pair would surely doubt that they could make _every_ class they share interesting. Those more familiar agree that Steffi’s antics could never disappoint. 

On one such Wednesday, Steffi beelined immediately towards her embittered rival’s desk upon entering the classroom. 

“Hey, Lead!” Steffi shouted, waving at Roni who stood conversing with a friend in the corner of the classroom.

Roni glanced over, but didn’t respond. Steffi grabbed a thermos from her desk. 

“Lead! This is your hot chocolate, right?”

This prompted a reply. “Don’t.”

“It’s pretty cold out today. It sure would suck if you had to walk home without this.”

“Even you aren’t this petty.”

Steffi grinned. “Try me.”

Without hesitation, Steffi picked up the thermos and downed the rest of it, not breaking eye contact with Roni. 

“You truly are a monster.” Roni deadpanned. Steffi merely barked out a laugh, and sat herself down at her actual desk. (right behind Roni’s, strategically chosen so she could throw wads of blu-tack at her head.)

  
  
  


The rest of the class went by without incident, mostly due to Steffi falling asleep halfway through it. As the rest of the class filed out, Roni stayed behind, and when the coast was clear she gently shook Steffi awake.

“Ugh, wha-” Steffi groaned. “What time is it?” 

“You’re a human disaster.” Roni said.

“I know I am, but what are you?” Steffi replied. “Wait. I think I said that wrong.”

“You slept through half of outer science, again.” 

“Aw fuck.” Steffi said. “I’m already failing that one. I think.”

Roni rolled her eyes. “You can borrow my notes tonight, to copy.”

“Really?” Steffi asked. “Thanks Roni! You’re a lifesaver. Oh- speaking of.”

She reached into her bag, rummaging around and producing a thermos identical to Roni’s. She handed it over.

Roni stared at it. “Did you… buy a second thermos identical to mine, just to do that?”

“Yep!” 

Roni laughed. “This is why I love you, Steffi.” 

</> </> </> </>

Gail was the first to figure it out, because of course she was. One day at her place while Debbi was distracted trying to bribe Keys to reveal her full legal name, Gail signed her suspicions to Roni.

“Yeah.” Roni signed back. “Don’t tell anyone.” 

Gail nodded. Roni signed her thanks.

Next was Ben, who happened into arriving at Team Blitz’s usual meeting spot a half-hour early. Something about a student-free day at his school, though Steffi didn’t exactly catch all the details over the panic of seeing him walk into her living room while she was kissing Roni.

_“How did you get into my house?”_

_“You gave me a key!”_

_“Knock first!”_

_“You gave me the key so I wouldn’t knock!”_

_“Are you wearing your pyjamas?”_

_“Were you kissing the girl you complain about on patrol every night?”_

Steffi smacked him on the head. 

The remainder of Team Blitz came that night. Once Ben found out, there was no keeping it from the others. They found the whole situation hilarious, much to Steffi’s chagrin, and her imagined dream scenario of getting to brag about her deception never came over all the light jabs from her friends. Not that she really minded. Now she could brag about being the first one on the team to get a girlfriend, and such a beautiful, brilliant, wonderful one at that. 

And of course when everyone else was in on it, Roni felt bad leaving her other teammates out of the loop. 

“That’s hilarious.” Debbi said, after Roni explained everything.

“Right?” Steffi said, from the comfort of a bean bag in the corner of Team Forte’s practice room. She turned to Roni. “See? Your friends find it hilarious.”

Roni raised an eyebrow. “Keys?”

Keys nodded. “I agree with Debbi.”

Roni scoffed. “You always agree with Debbi.”

“That’s because I’m always right!” The aforementioned drummer said. “Besides, the idea that despite having so many fans, you’re going out with the one person who _everyone_ thinks hates your guts? That’s fantastic.”

Roni smiled. “Maybe it is _slightly_ amusing,” she admitted.

</> </> </> </>

The couple’s next public incident was on Friday before school. One could be forgiven for thinking that Steffi wasn’t the type to arrive at school early, or on time at all. Steffi wouldn’t mind. Especially since it was a reputation Steffi cultivated for herself, so she could more easily meet up with Roni in a secluded hallway on the second floor of the school. Usually, it’d be pretty empty at this time of day. 

Usually. 

As Steffi rounded the corner on this particular Friday, she was greeted not by her waiting girlfriend, but with a classmate with red hair shouting at an unfamiliar girl, while Roni stood uncomfortably to the side. 

“You’re gonna come to _our_ school, and not fight like the rest of us?” The red-haired girl accused. “Why should our teachers waste their time on you, and not people who’ve done more to _deserve_ it?” 

“I’m going to fight!” The other girl sounded like she was moments away from crying. “It’s just- after getting the dream and coming here... Going out and fighting would be too much…”

The red-haired girl barked out a laugh. “Too much? _Too much_ ?” She pointed at Roni. “Look at Forte Lead here. She’s one of the most popular musicians in the city. She has to manage a whole ass singing career on top of going out to fight every night, and do you hear _her_ complaining about _too much_?”

Roni looked as if she wanted to sink into the wall she was leaning on and disappear. Steffi’d had enough. 

“Hey, arrowface!” 

The aforementioned girl looked shocked for a second, before settling back into her trademark sneer. 

“Well, if it isn’t the leader of Team Blitz.” She turned her head slowly towards Steffi. “Which one are you again? Swing? Rock? Oh, it doesn’t matter. Not like any of you chumps are at all relevant.”

Steffi raised an eyebrow. “She said, shouting at a stranger in an empty corridor, alone.”

“What are you doing here, anyway?” Arrowface snapped. “Finally got over your chronic inability to wake up on time?”

Steffi didn’t reply, instead casually approaching the other girl.

“Ignore this chump.” She said, pointing her thumb at arrowface. “Everyone refuses to talk to her so she acts like an asshole to new kids instead.”

“Hey!”

“Future’s Promise is open to all magical girls, the idea that you have to risk your life each night to _deserve_ a place here is bullshit. Hell, some girls don’t even have powers that’d help them fight. Not everyone can be a _Forte Lead_.” Steffi’s last two words were accented with contempt. “‘sides, who’d wanna be Forte Lead anyways? Oh hey, look at me, I’m filming a music video while dangerous monsters are around and- whoops! Something just ate the cameraman I recklessly brought out here to forward my brand image.” 

“Don’t you make your friend go with you, even though he has normal school?” Roni asked, now standing with more confidence from her girlfriend's familiar presence.

Steffi allowed herself a slight grin. “That’s different. I don’t have to pay Ben do it.”

“Doesn’t that make it _worse?_ ”

“Unimportant. The point is that you don’t have any friends willing to help you with filming.” 

“Hey? Guys?” Arrowface waved. “We’re kind of in the middle of something?”

Roni and Steffi ignored her.

“Team Forte’s more popular than Team Blitz will ever be.” Roni retorted. “We need a professional cameraman, not some random kid.”

“Only I talk about Ben like that!” Steffi said. “Besides, Team Outrageous manages to get great footage, and their camera’s operated by Lemon’s sister.”

“Have you _met_ Lemon’s sister?”

“No? I don’t go to all the magical girl all-night raves, or whatever it is you _popular_ girls do.”

“All night ra- ok look, Lemon’s sister manages merchandising, PR, filming, and video production all by herself. That girl is not an accurate baseline for girls our age. Although… the idea of having a consistent cameraman might be good for our image…”

“Ha! See?” Steffi shouted, triumphant. “All you care about is branding! If I wasn’t such a good samaritan, I’d consider not letting you use my idea.” 

“How was that _your_ idea?”

While Steffi and Roni bickered, arrowface grew noticeably more annoyed at the lack of attention she was receiving. 

“Y’know what?” She said. “I don’t need to be here listening to you two have your spat. I’m out.”

And with that, arrowface stormed off down the hall. 

“Stairs are that way!” Steffi shouted, pointing in the other direction.

And with that, arrowface stormed off down the hall in the other direction.

After waiting an amount of time to make sure arrowface was gone, the pair breathed a collective sigh of relief. 

“Holy _shit_.” Roni said. “Thanks for the save. They were there when I got here and I- I should’ve said something but I-” 

“Hey. Don’t beat ya'self up over it.” Steffi said. “Arrowface’s whole thing is making people super uncomfortable. All’s well that ends well, yeah?”

“Yeah… I guess.” Roni said.

“Speaking _of_.” Steffi turned to the other girl. “You ok? Arrowface can definitely be a bit much.”

“I. Uh…” The other girl stammered. “Yes… Thank you…” 

“Don’t mention it.” Steffi replied. “And hey, if you _do_ wanna go out at night, you’re welcome to roll with Team Blitz whenever. No pressure though.” 

“Uh…”

The girl looked at Steffi. Then at Roni. Then back at Steffi.

“ThanksagainIhopeIdidntcauseanytroubleIreallylikeyourmusicfortelead-”

And then she ran away. 

Steffi and Roni glanced at eachother.

“Well. That was interesting.” 

</> </> </> </>

“So.” Lime said, leaning back on her chair. “You lookin’ for a date for the formal?”

Steffi looked around the library, trying to figure out if there was anyone else Lime could be talking to. “Me?”

Lime scoffed. “Who else?” 

Steffi shrugged. “I just figured such a big-name Magical Girl wouldn’t care about some chump.” 

“Nah. I’m not that far up my own ass.” Lime said. “Besides, I think pink girls are cute. So, you in?” 

“To be your rebound after HP dumped you?”

“Can it, Frohlich.” Lime said. “I’m a big-name Magical Girl. I could ruin you.”

Silence, for a moment. Then Lime spoke again.

“So? Do you have a date, or not?”

“Sorry Lime. I do.” Steffi said. 

“Congrats. Who’s the lucky girl?”

Steffi smirked. “Can’t tell ya.”

“You’d better not me saying that to get out of going with me.” Lime said.

“Nah, I’ve got a date. Honest. If a spot opens up, you’ll be the first to know.”

  
  
  


Meanwhile, on the other side of the library, a similar conversation was playing out.

“So, I know you don’t usually date fans…”

Roni rolled her eyes. “Carina. I’m not joining your weird polycule.” 

“Flamesy and I decided it might be interesting to date other people.”

“...while still dating eachother.”

“Yes!”

Roni turned to Melty Frost. “Carina. I’m sorry. I already have a date.”

“She can join in too! Amy still needs a date!”

“Carina.”

“Fine.” Frost grumbled. “Well, if you aren’t going to say yes, at least tell me who you’re going with so I don’t get rejected by her too.”

“You won’t believe me.” Roni said.

“I've seen a lot of strange relationships in my time.” Carina said. “Try me.”

Roni whispered her date’s name in Carina’s ear. “Don’t tell anyone.”

Carina looked at her, dumbfounded. “You’re right. I don’t believe you.”

</> </> </> </>

A brilliant white laser cleaved through another dark jellyfish, the two halves of the monster dissipating into air. 

“You don’t usually see this many in one place.” Bud commented. She took a step back as she blasted another jellyfish out of the sky, its remains splattering across the narrow alleyway. 

Outrageous Lime nodded, back pressed against the inner barrier and keeping a jellyfish at bay with her bat. “The goods news is that they’re focused on us, so we can lure them away from the buildings. Apple, go with Team Thrash to the park. Me and Lemon will mop up any stragglers.”

“We’ll meet at the pavilion,” Bud said. “Good luck.”

Lime lifted her arm in a mock-salute, complete with a sarcastic smirk. “Good luck.”

A thread of yellow lace twisted around Lime’s raised wrist, suddenly flinging her upwards. As she ascended, she gripped her baseball bat in her other hand and swatted two jellyfish out of the air. From the roof opposite the one she landed on, Lemon’s sister gave a thumbs up.

“How did you get up so fast?” Lime asked. “You’re holding a camera.”

Lemon’s sister smiled. “A cameraman never tells.”

As Lime, Lemon, and Lemon’s sister departed, Bud's group started on their own way. As hoped, a majority of the jellyfish monsters followed them as they snaked through the city’s backalleys. Apple led the way, performing sick horizontal kickflips on walls and bouncing her way towards the park, while Bud kept the smack of jellyfish at bay with her lasers. 

Harley, meanwhile, was having a great deal of fun.

“Why are they all going after me?” Harley complained, covering her face with one arm while using the other to swat away yet another jellyfish. “I’m not even attacking them!”

“Obviously they couldn’t stand looking at your face.” Bud said, but her voice betrayed the concern that her words did not. She ramped up her firing, blasting jellyfish with both lasers at once. Still, the swarm did not relent. 

An ear-splitting prolonged high d-flat rang through the air, sending the jellyfish near Harley tumbling back, followed by a series of piercing staccato g-sharps that caused the jellyfish to explode one-by-one. 

“Hey guys!” Roni ran in from an adjacent alleyway. “Have you seen the rest of Team Forte? We got separated by an abnormally large rat.”

“Didn’t see ‘em.” Bud said. “But we were in a bit of a rush.”

“Oh, you would’ve heard Debbi far before you saw her.” Roni laughed. “Well, I guess I’ll hang with you guys until I find them.”

“Sounds good. We were going to lure those jellyfish to the park but,” Bud glanced around, ”it seems you’ve taken care of that.” 

Roni laughed sheepishly. “Yeah… I kinda went overboard there. I hope you don’t think I was showing off.”

Bud shrugged. “Nah.”

“Well, if we aren’t busy with that anymore.” Apple said, detransforming. A lunch box with her face on it appeared in her hands. “My mom makes me bring snacks on patrol. Anyone hungry?”

  
  
  
  


A few minutes later, the four Magical Girls were seated in the park pavilion, snacking appreciatively on a somewhat excessive number of apple slices.

“You eat this many apple slices every night?” Harley asked, popping another one into her mouth.

“Nah.” Apple said, talking with her mouth full. “Usually I throw these at monsters. Or Lime.” 

“...why?”

“It’s funny.”

“Welp.” Apple said, standing up and stretching. “While we’re here. Hey Lead, what’s your thing with Pop Blitz?”

Roni felt a momentary panic. “My… thing?”

“Yeah!” Apple said. “Why does she hate you so much?”

Roni breathed a silent sigh of relief. “Oh. That.”

“I don’t like to pry, but what did you do to get her so mad at you?” Harley asked. “Like, she _hates_ you.”

“I don’t think it matters all that much.” Roni said. “All celebrities have critics. It’s something you’ve gotta learn to accept.”

“But Steffi isn’t just a critic,” replied Harley, “some of the stuff she does is borderline bullying.”

“Yeah.” Apple snickered. “Remember when she crashed your Forte Formation album release interview?”

“How could I forget?”

In truth, Roni hadn’t been feeling well during that particular interview with the Daylight Update. It had come on the heels of a poor night’s sleep and a five-hour debut concert. She’d mentioned offhand wanting to skip the interview to Steffi, and crashing the interview was her own… creative method of extracting her from it. Besides, all publicity is good publicity, right? Steffi still liked to brag that the fame of that interview was integral in Forte Formation’s success. 

“What, so you genuinely don’t know?” Harley asked. “After everything she’s done to you?”

Roni nodded. 

“It’s probably some moral superiority thing.” Harley said. “Acting like she’s better than everyone else because she doesn’t care about fame. Jerk.”

Roni spoke without thinking. “Don’t talk about her like that.”

Oops.

Harley raised an eyebrow. “Why do you care?”

“I don’t.” Roni said. “I just- when you make those generalisations about Steffi, you’re making them about every other girl who isn’t focused on fame. As much as I dislike her, she’s still risking her life to protect the city without any of the usual rewards the rest of us seek. Besides, she’s going after me specifically, it can’t be something that broad.” 

“I see…” Harley said. “Probably shouldn’t be assuming.”

“Hey, Bud, you do you know?” Apple said, turning to the self-proclaimed gossip doctor.

“Do I know what?” Bud said, waking up from her impromptu nap face-first in Apple’s lunchbox. “The answer is probably yes.”

“Do you know why Pop Blitz hates Lead so much?”

“Oh.” Bud said. “I don’t know that one.”

Apple looked incredulous. “But you know everything!”

“Yeah!” Harley agreed. “You know so much stuff you absolutely shouldn’t, but you don’t know this? Steffi is horrible at keeping secrets!”

Roni had to stifle a laugh.

“I don’t know what to tell you.” Bud said. “There’s some things I don’t know, and this is one of them.”

Apple and Harley groaned in unison, turning to eachother to continue tossing around theories. Bud turned briefly to Roni, and gave her a conspiratorial wink. Somehow.

  
  
  


Before Roni could figure out a reply, the roof of the pavilion was torn off with a loud _crack_. Roni looked up, to see a gargantuan flying jellyfish monster throw the pavilion roof halfway across the park. She stood up, but couldn’t move in time to avoid one of its appendages hurtling towards her. She braced herself for an impact.

One that never came.

Roni cautiously opened her eyes. In front of her, with right arm raised projecting a vibrant pink shield that blocked the monster’s punch, was Steffi.

“Slacking on the job, Lead?” Steffi quipped. “How unprofessional.” 

Her shield flickered, and in the moments before it collapsed, Steffi clenched her fist, and slammed it down. The shield wrapped around the jellyfish’s tentacle, and even as it faded, hurled it onto the ground. 

Without a moment’s hesitation, Steffi leapt up, running along the monster’s arm towards its head. Both her arms and her right leg crackled with pink electricity. As she neared the head, she launched a blast of lightning with her left hand down onto the monster’s tentacle, causing it to lurch forward towards her, while her right hand fired to the side, giving her a burst of momentum. She spun counter-clockwise, leg out, and roundhouse kicked the jellyfish directly in its massive head. 

The roar of thunder echoed throughout the park, lightning rippling up and down the monster. It burst into a magnificent pink explosion, as Steffi flipped backwards, landing confidently on the grass.

Then, out of the explosion, fell a figure. Then two more. Then six more. 

Lying dazed on the grass, but seemingly mostly unharmed, was the remainder of teams Forte, Outrageous, and Blitz. 

“Gail!” Apple shouted, running to her sister. 

Lime coughed, as she lay on the ground. “I cannot believe that that worked.” 

“I’d say it was a pretty sound plan.” Lemon’s sister said, somehow the only member of the group standing up, looking not at all worse-for-wear and holding a somehow-intact camera. 

“What… just happened?” Harley asked.

“It’s a long story.” Keys said.

“You had to be there!” Debbi agreed. Gail nodded sagely. 

“Yeah.” Lime said, finally getting back to her feet. “We couldn’t possibly do that whole mess justice with words. So we’re not going to try.”

Harley threw an apple slice at her.

</> </> </> </>

“So, you’re sure about this?” Steffi asked, sitting beside Roni on the roof of the school. “You know we won’t be able to avoid all the attention.”

Roni smiled at her. Even after seeing that smile so many times, Steffi’s heart couldn’t help but skip a beat.

“You’re my girlfriend,” Roni said, “and I want the whole world to know how much I love you.”

Steffi giggled, her face as pink as her hair. “Well, if you’re sure.”

The couple made their way off the roof, detransforming as they approached the entrance of the assembly hall. Roni wore an elegant black suit, and Steffi a sparkling pink dress. They entered the building hand-in-hand, where the school prom was in full swing. Melty Frost, Melty Flame, Lime and Keys danced together, twirling and switching partners in an intricate display. By the food table, Apple, Bud and Debbi sat discussing something-or-other. In the opposite corner, Lemon cheered as her sister arm-wrestled Harley, effortlessly defeating her. At the back of the room, Gail sat at the DJ stand rocking out to her solo in the _Forte Formation Anniversary Remix._

But as Roni and Steffi walked to the centre of the hall, everything slowed. Bud’s eyes opened a fraction. The Melties broke from eachother’s gaze. Even the music stopped.

Roni looked into the eyes of the love of her life, and Steffi nervously smiled back.

Steffi leaned forwards, and Roni closed her eyes. 

They kissed, and the world fell away.

**Author's Note:**

> Hoo boy, did this one take a while! I wrote the entirety of this fic without having read Kiwi Blitz, so if any part of Steffi's characterisation is off, too bad. You're not the boss of me. I do what I want.


End file.
